I am not a night owl. My favorite days begin before the sun rises and require little brain power once it sets, which is why I am thankful the kids are of an age where they can be more independent in their schoolwork. It was not always this way. Throughout elementary school and on into 5th- and 6th-grade, at least one of my three kids needed me at all times throughout our school hours. Depending on their age/level, they were adept at following their individual schedules, reading directions, and staying on task. Still, my role was more of a teacher than a facilitator, and it took all of my time and attention to complete each school day’s work with them.
Now I am more of a facilitator. I am here. I am 100% available and interruptible, but they manage without me about 85% of the time.
What that means for me is I can, once again, write during the hours best suited to my body’s natural rhythms. I reserve evenings for tasks that take less focus, like finishing up the days’ laundry, making meal plans and grocery lists, or watching Tiny House Nation and Tiny House Hunting episodes. I’m slightly addicted.
So last night, while I considered whether to read, journal or watch an episode of the aforementioned shows, Kenny decided to get ahead on his next day’s schoolwork. When I noticed he was on his computer, I asked what he was watching, assuming he was checking out his favorite Minecraft YouTubers. I nearly fell out when he said he was doing Math.
Me: “Math?”
Kenny: “Yes, Math.”
Me: “As in, you’re doing school?”
Kenny: “Is that so hard to believe?”
Me: “Umm…yea.”
And it was hard to believe for several reasons. First, Kenny is not a night owl. He’s like me. His brain diminishes in focus with every daylight hour lost. In the evenings, he likes to sit and talk with us, read, or watch videos, but school? No.
Me: “Are you sure that’s such a good idea?”
Kenny: “What do you mean?”
Me: “I mean, are you certain you have the focus to do Math right now?”
Kenny: “Well, I’m doing it.”
Me: “…”
Meredith calls out from the back of the cabin, “What’s the big deal about Kenny doing Math at night? I do school at night all the time.”
And she does.
Meredith’s body marches to a circadian rhythm all her own, and it has been that way since before I birthed her. She kept me up all night while in utero, and even after emerging into this world–she did not change. Jeff and I tried every trick in the book to get her body to comprehend our family’s night-and-day scheduling but to no avail. It is one of the reasons she recently settled on becoming a nurse. She wants to work when she’s alert and sleep when she’s not. Plus, she enjoys Science and wants flexible working hours. The girl has thought this through–probably while the rest of us were sleeping.
Meredith typically sets her alarm for 8:00 am. She can and will get up to attend appointments, volunteer, work, or any other scheduled plans, but if there aren’t plans, she can easily sleep until 11:00 am or noon.
And I let her.
Why?
She schools at night – A LOT.
Her brain is sharp at night. She turns on when the rest of the world turns off. It is her alert time. Many nights I have slipped out of bed after midnight for water or to go to the restroom and she’s writing an essay, taking a Math quiz, or responding to daily lesson questions. The house is quiet, and she usually has her headphones in (she prefers classical piano at night). She’s in her element.
I wrap up whatever I’m up doing, and it never fails I say something ridiculous like, “Don’t stay up too much later.” She tells me that she won’t, and I turn and head back to bed.
So, it didn’t surprise me she was coming to her brother’s defense.
I let it go, and Kenny continued on with his Math until, not surprisingly, he became frustrated enough to slam down the lid of his laptop before stomping out the back with the dogs.
Meredith looked up from painting her nails with a “What’s wrong with him?” expression.
Me: “It’s school. He can’t do school at night.”
Meredith: “Anyone can do school at night.”
Me: “I can’t.”
Meredith: “That’s because you’re a mom. All moms are tired at night.”
I didn’t agree with that entirely, but in my case she’s right, so I let it go. I’m getting good at letting things go.
Me: “He is sharper in the morning. He needs good sleep, breakfast, and then he’s on his game.”
Meredith: “Mornings aren’t time for school or breakfast.”
And the conversation pretty much ended there because she and I have had the breakfast discussion a gazillion times, and I didn’t want to have it again. I went out to check on Kenny, who had joined his daddy on the pier.
Thankfully, Kenny decided to let the evening Math lesson wait until the next day, but it did begin a family conversation about body rhythms and how we are all individually tuned, so to speak.
It also made me think of all the emails I’ve received from parents who are working day jobs but want to homeschool their kids in the early evening hours. I can see how it would work beautifully for some kids but not so great for others; same with the parents. The flexibility of homeschooling only works when it works for “all” involved.
I have a friend whose husband works long shifts that are during the hours his family usually slept; initially, this meant their family time received a serious beating four days a week. To get more time in with him, the family shifted to his schedule during the week, homeschooling while he was at work, sleeping while he slept and having family time when he was available. Thankfully, it has worked well for all of them.
I’m curious how it is with your family. Are you all night owls, early birds, or more likely, a mixed nest? Have you made any accommodations to meet the individual needs of some family members?
Heather Sanders is a leading homeschooling journalist who desires to inspire families to live, love and learn. Married to Jeff, Heather lives in the East Texas Piney Woods where she currently homeschools three kids using Monarch, an online homeschool curriculum.